I spent 4 hours yesterday in a state of dysphoria, unsure what was wrong with me. By all apparent measures, everything was going well in my life. But I found a principle today that unblocked me and made me much happier. The principle ultimately springs from my experience in this story:

Four years ago I had an Excel spreadsheet with a list of anything on my mind. I put down things like, "Getting a new computer," "Free time," "Family," "Finding a new career." And then I put a number between 0 and 10 to the right. 0 being not important, 5 being somewhat important, and 10 being very important. I then updated the list every week, and watched to see how my numbers changed. I also tried to see if any of them were reliably greater than 7.

When I first created this spreadsheet, my life became magically easier. Decisions came easy, I was calmer, and everything was put into perspective.

For the first month, "Going to Japan" got 8s or higher, and so I cashed my small 401(k) and took off. When I was in Japan, "Staying in Japan" remained high on the list, and so I stayed for an extra month, sharing a room with a German and eating ramen everyday. Eventually my tourist visa ran out, and "Going home" floated to the top of my list. I finally went home.

As I'm writing this and reflecting, those 3 months were probably one of the best stretches of my life. So why did I stop?

When I came back, I got sick of my Excel spreadsheet. While I had felt more balanced, I also felt irritated by the confines of it. I finally put a stake in the coffin with this entry:

Living in Proportion To This List = 3, not really important.

And it stayed that way for weeks. Finally I ditched the spreadsheet.

But there has been a lingering sense in me for years afterward, "what was so magical about that spreadsheet?"

Now, I think I understand the mechanic behind it. That spreadsheet provided a rough view of my values.

So what, though? I've always known about "values." Everybody always says, "well, so-and-so has good values."

But a principle struck me today that I think captures why it's so important:

So this morning, I queried myself, "In what way am I not living according to my values?" A few major areas popped to my mind where I was slacking, and I immediately set my mind to re-adjust.