I've been going through What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage and one of the lasting ideas I got from it is to ignore the behaviors you don't want. For example, if your husband leaves smelly socks around, don't throw a storm or nag. Instead ignore the behavior, and then use positive reinforcement to praise him when he's considerate or tidy at other times.

This is really powerful I think, and it relates to what I remember Marianne Williamson said: "The opposite of love is not hate. It's indifference." The reason why ignoring a behavior works is because what humans want more than anything is a connection. Being connected is the reward. Being disconnected is the punishment.