Reduce negative experiences to just the onset negativity

by phil on Friday May 21, 2010 2:35 AM

So I was thinking the other day, that the experience of bad events can be broken down into two components. The first component is an initial onset experience that is standard across most people. For example, if your car breaks down, it will be a major bummer to you, no matter whether you're a neurotypical or a neurotic. The second component is the extended negativity that comes from cultural norms and your internal machinery, such as your temperament or neurotic disposition.

And so if you were to reduce your suffering, by using tools like cognitive therapy or positive thinking, what would you attack? I'd say attacking the original onset of negativity is futile, while as so much can be done to minimize the second part.

My goal with self-therapy has been to reduce my experience of negative events to just the onset experience. I've noticed that 10% of the problems in my life are caused by the problems themselves, and 90% are the extended negative experience I build up in my head.

If someone slights you, it should bother you initially, but only so. It shouldn't bother you that you're bothered, nor should you dwell on what was said. You integrate whatever that initial onset negativity was supposed to feed you, and then you move on.